You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
