I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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