hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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