im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
