Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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