Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
