Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
