Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
