The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
