but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
