We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
