I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
