Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
