I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
