yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
