You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
