I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
