we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
