My pussy is not your playground.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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