Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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