What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
