Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
