she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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