1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
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