Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
