she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
