I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
