Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
