Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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