She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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