ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
