Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You can't special order awesome
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
