Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
