youre lurking in front of me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
