We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
