Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
