When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
