These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
