It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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