It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
