Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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