you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
