Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
