He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
