we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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