sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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