Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
