he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
