And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
