i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
