I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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