There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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