My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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